After reading the latest devotion, I finally understand what the author was talking about in her previous entries about calling. I still believe there can be more than one calling, and there can be callings for different times in our lives. But, there is a way God wants us to express that calling, and that is what I want to talk about today.
The author speaks of figuring out a thesis statement of her life–a main thing– and says that she thinks all of our lives look like that. The thought intrigued me. I was confused when she referred to it as a calling because I’ve always thought having a calling was what I did with my life. “What” is only one question word though. We’re all familiar with the other question words like “who”, “when”, “where”, “why”, “which”, and “how”. I believe the thesis statement she is discussing is how you express that calling.
Once I figured that out, the thoughts came quickly about a possible thesis statement. It’s almost been nine years since my mother-in-law passed away suddenly. In many ways, this was a bellwether event that led me and my family to where we are now. I won’t lie to you. The first few years after her passing were a dark and bleak time. We hit rock bottom more than once. I won’t go into a lot of detail here, but we walked through moves, job losses, financial problems, illnesses, and family conflict. We didn’t have a church family during that time either. Three years later though, we found our church here in our new town as I’ve written about before, and we found God again in a much more personal way. It changed our family forever.
In the years since though, I’ve had to readjust my thinking on one particular thing and will probably be working on this until the day I die. That thing is revealing your real self in church. I was always taught, by example and by word, that revealing your real self usually turned out badly so I didn’t. I put shields up when I went to church, and it would take a lot to bring them down. But, at our church here, revealing your real self is not only accepted; it is welcomed. There have been deaths since we’ve been at this church. I’ve seen people cry. I’ve seen people cry when they’ve been speaking at the front of the church. I’ve heard people speak of the dark things, and they weren’t shunned. People walked with us through times of need, and we weren’t shunned either. That didn’t make it any less tough for me to speak. Years of conditioning can do that to a person.
But, then I started my first blog and this blog two years later. Somehow, it became easier to speak of the dark things when I wrote about them. About my depression, about the hard times, about job loss and asking God why, about stays in the hospital, about everything. I found my voice with this blog and started writing about my journey of faith. I found my courage too and started speaking to people when I was having a hard time. God was knitting bravery and courage into my heart almost without my realizing it, and I felt His presence in a more profound way.
Thinking about the memories of the last few years and writing them down has brought my thesis statement to mind which I want to share with you now. I’m the person who speaks of the real things, of the dark things, so you will know I’m not perfect and so you will know Jesus Christ has changed my life anyway! My prayer is that I honor this statement as I continue to develop my writing voice!
Praying God’s blessings on you all today!