If you’re a regular reader of this blog or a follower of my Facebook page, you might have noticed I’ve started using some new hashtags. They include #newseatnewoutlook, #newfriends, #joyofachild, and #fixoureyesonJesus. These come from the way I’ve started my new year in church. It was a simple thing, really. I changed where I was sitting during my church’s worship service. I can’t tell you what that has done for my mental outlook. I’m sitting with people who want me there and who are genuinely excited about me being there. It has helped my outlook, my worship, and everything in-between.
So, on to today’s topic. Yesterday, I was sitting with the wife of one of the other media team people, her son, and her mother-in-law. It was before the service, and we noticed the sign come up on the big screen about help being needed on the media team. We chuckled because, more often than not, both of our husbands are back there during the service. The term media widow was used, and I told her how much I had enjoyed sitting with her and getting to know her and her kids. It was nice to sit with someone who I had something in common with. She told me her husband struggled with asking for help, and it’s the same with my husband. He prefers to do something himself and not ask for help unless it’s absolutely necessary. We are at the point where he has to now because baseball season for our son starts in six weeks. My friend and I finished commiserating just before the service started, and we had a wonderful time of worship with our church family.
Later on, I was thinking of what today’s blog topic was going to be, and I came back to that conversation. ‘Oh, that would be a great story to share,’ I thought. Then, my high horse came tumbling back to earth. ‘Dear daughter, didn’t you ask me for help with your attitudes last week?’ God has a way of speaking right to the heart of the matter. ‘I know your husband has trouble asking for help, but you do as well, only with different things.’
God was right. I do have trouble asking for help especially with my heart attitudes.
How many of us ask for prayer for our heart attitudes? I would venture to say not a lot. It’s easier to ask for prayer when we’re sick or out of work than to ask for these prayers.
‘I don’t like that person because of their politics. Pray that I would love them like Jesus wants me to.’
Or, ‘I know we need to welcome people who are different to church, but I struggle with that. Please pray for me.’
Or, ‘I struggle with talking to some people because they are prettier, or more accomplished or just seem to have it more together in Christ than I do. Please pray for me.’
And here is the hardest one for me. ‘Sometimes I resent being a media widow. I resent never having my husband with me during worship. I know he is doing God’s work, and I rejoice in that, but sometimes, it is just hard. Please pray that more people would help and that the resentment would go away.’
Heart attitudes. We all have them, and we hold them tightly, not letting God carry them for us. My sincerest desire is for others to see Jesus through me, but I know Jesus needs to work on my heart for that to happen.
So, my goal for this year is to fix my eyes on Jesus and let him work on my heart attitudes. It’s why I changed my seat, and it’s why I hope, one day, I will have the courage to approach the people I struggle the most with talking to and ask them to pray for me.
God’s blessings on all of you today!
PS – Church family, my husband and his friend still need help on the media team. I’m not letting him get away with not asking. 🙂