Like I said yesterday, God has been working in my life and speaking to me through this devotion time my church has been having. Coincidentally, this is the topic of today’s devotion. (What God Wants Us to Hear)
I have struggled as I’ve learned to hear God’s voice. It’s hard to connect what God wants me to hear and experience (the image and voice of a loving, tender father) with what has been my own experience (the image and voice of an emotionally distant father). It’s why I’ve struggled with learning to trust Him too. Why would I trust someone with the secrets of my life and my heart if I felt distant from them?
God has changed this since I’ve been at my church here in Alabama. It has been a gradual change as I’ve peeled back the edges and layers of my past. At first, it was the things that hurt my heart like the miscarriage I experienced over five years ago. He brought me to people who had experienced the same thing and who were able to say ‘me too’ when I told my story full of pain and heartache. That brought me peace.
Then, it was the things I had done or said that I was ashamed of, that other people who said they were Christians condemned me for. They passed judgment on me without looking at the condition of their own hearts. God said to me, ‘No daughter, I don’t judge you. You have a place in my kingdom just like everyone else who believes in me does.’ That brought me peace too.
Finally, it was the people I’ve met since we’ve been here. The Christians who made a point not to judge, not to put themselves higher than anyone else, to hold me while I cried, to tolerate me saying one more time why I couldn’t trust. to walk with me in situations I wouldn’t have wished on anyone, some happening more than once. Through all of these interactions, I came to understand the phrase, “You might be the only Jesus some people see.” These people have been Jesus to me as my trust in God has grown in all the areas of my life.
As I’ve trusted God more, I’ve started having conversations with Him in my head, and He’s asked me some of the same questions the author asked in his devotion. ‘Have you given that to me, Alisa?’ ‘Do you want me to carry that burden?’
He has also said things to me such as, ‘Why don’t you go speak to that person?’ ‘They need help. Tell them you’ll help them.’ These have been things that have stretched me out of my comfort zone, and sometimes it has been uncomfortable. Okay, I’ll tell the truth here. Really uncomfortable. When I’ve listened though, whatever I have done or said has helped me to grow as a Christian and as a person.
I think that’s the point. God has our best interests at heart. He wants us to grow in our relationship with Him, to listen to His voice, and to trust Him with everything. That is the longing of my heart–total trust and faith. I wake up every day with a choice, and though I won’t be perfect with this until I am with Him, my goal is to choose life–an abundant life with my Lord and Savior!
God’s blessings on all of you today!