Topics and titles for this blog come to me sometimes through situations I’ve gone through or am going through, questions I have about those situations, and dreams. Today’s topic comes from all three. I woke up this morning with a strong sense of guilt about something that happened on Sunday and whether that meant I hadn’t totally surrendered my life to Christ so I thought I needed to explore what total surrender meant and how it related to my situation and the guilt I was feeling.
First, the topic of total surrender. There are two verses which,I believe, demonstrate this well. The one I’m sure we’ve all read is one I read from when I first came to faith in Christ. That verse is John 3:16. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
Another one is Romans 12:2. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” And this verse, especially, related to the questions I have because it spelled out pretty clearly what I had always believed surrendering to Christ meant. If we surrender our lives to Jesus Christ, we’re supposed to let him have control over everything–to let Him direct all the parts of our lives. That’s a hard one for us humans. Giving up control. It’s something I have to work on daily.
And that brings me to the question that is related to the guilt I’m feeling. If I have to cry about something, does that mean I haven’t totally surrendered my life to Christ? Yes, I broke down on Sunday. I had gotten to the point where I had to. Last week, my husband spent three days in the hospital with possible heart related issues, and I had to be the strong one. The one who didn’t break. The one who was always encouraging. It got to me after a while especially when people were making comments on how strong I was. So, I broke down on Sunday and went up when the service was over so I could have someone pray over me. Now, I feel guilty about it because I feel like I shouldn’t have, shouldn’t have had to cry, because I’m supposed to have the peace of Christ in me.
I know God gave us tear ducts, and I praise Him for that, but I rarely see anyone else in the church cry. Does that mean they’re better Christians than I am? I don’t know. Does that mean they’ve totally surrendered more than I have? I don’t know that either. I guess these are…theological questions. Maybe my pastor could answer them. Not sure I want to ask him though.
I think I need to trust God–to take Proverbs 3:5-6 to heart. To know that He is directing my paths because I trust in Him and acknowledge Him. And to also know that He made tear ducts for a reason and just because I use them doesn’t mean He loves me any less. Thank you, God, for this truth!
God’s blessings on all of you today!