I have some more thoughts to tag on to my post from last week, Beauty in the Broken. Showing weakness is not an easy thing for me, especially in church. There are many reasons for this, but I think I can boil them down to a manageable number.
First, there’s a trust factor. I need to be able to trust that my weakness won’t be used to take advantage of me. Since I have experienced rejection in the past, this is especially hard. I need to let go and let God protect my heart because there is no way I can protect it myself.
Second, some people need to know every detail of my weakness. Sometimes though, I don’t want to share every detail. I would like to be able to ask someone for prayer, and have them sit beside me, put their arm around me, and pray for me without knowing all the details.
I also think people are uncomfortable around people who show weakness in church. Tears are not an easy thing to see, and a lot of people don’t like to show tears, or, if they do, they apologize profusely. That’s wrong. It should be okay to cry in church, but sometimes it’s not. I am reminded of John 11:35 which says, “Jesus wept.” He had heard that His friend Lazarus had died and had come to see Mary and Martha to comfort them. Jesus knew what was going to happen next, but He was still fully human, and He grieved the loss of His friend. If Jesus wept, why is it not okay that we weep?
And finally, I think my struggle with showing weakness in church is because I don’t like to be vulnerable. I don’t think any of us do. However, our real and authentic selves are how God made us, and He wants us to show them to other people. This has been a struggle of mine for a long time, but I’ve realized something. God made me–the woman who is a geek. God made me–the woman who likes to read and write military science fiction. God made me–the woman who likes superheroes. God made me–the woman who pours out her thoughts out on paper and on the screen. God made me–the woman who loves Him passionately and desperately wants to show her authentic self to others even when she is weak. My prayer is that we all can look to our right and look to our left in church, and if someone is showing weakness, we can show compassion to them.
God’s blessings on you today!